Story
Twin Peaks
I Don’t Think Ultras Are For Me
Photos and words: Steff Gutovska
Embarking on a 1000km ride 11 months after giving birth without really training for it. All while balancing the intricacies and sudden reality of daily life. Steff Gutovska and a friend took on the unsupported Mother North challenge earlier this year.
On Coping With Change
“The hardest obstacle I’ve had to overcome on the bike is realising that after a certain point, your body just doesn’t get fit so easily. When I started cycling, I would ride for three days and feel so much stronger but now there is a whole package of things I need to consider. Getting disappointed that I don’t get fit so easily now, which decreases my motivation and makes me feel that I’m not getting better is hard. Getting out of my head is the hardest obstacle for me.”
There’s power in the mind
“The mind is very powerful and my riding depends on the way I feel mentally. I feel like when I’m in a bad mood and I ride in a group, it intensifies and the same goes for when I’m in a good mood. For the ultra, what really kept me going was my partner back home and his mostly unsolicited advice. Me and my friend Kat, who I was riding in pair with, dubbed him our ‘Director Sportif,’ as he’d keep repeating, ‘You just need to ride; slow or fast, it doesn’t matter, since it’s all in your head.’ I also know that I thrive in bad conditions. That’s when I perform best. This is what made it possible for me to complete the ultra. It’s your mental state that gets you to the finish line and I didn’t train for it. I kept telling myself, ‘It’s just a long ride together with my friend and my goal is for us to stay friends after the 1000km.’ While I don’t think ultras are for me, with this mindset, I proved to myself and everyone else that if I want, I can be a strong cyclist. The ride itself was an emotional rollercoaster and having sympathy during it was key. Most of it was about finding peace, female empowerment and good vibes, which was so good for our friendship.”
Becoming a mum
“I definitely went into motherhood thinking it was going to be easy. I thought I could juggle my career, motherhood and cycling. Maybe four to five months in, it hit me pretty hard. It’s not all that easy. I don’t have the energy for much once my kid goes to sleep. I often just stare into space after laying him to sleep. Becoming a mum has made me more humble, as a person and a cyclist. You become more mentally resilient because you have to care for a human being and be more realistic. Every time I do something for myself, I enjoy it but actually doing something for myself is the hard part. Occasionally putting myself first is not easy. Most of the time I choose to be in the ‘we-set up’ and not a ‘me alone” setup. I think it’s the beauty and the curse of motherhood in general.
Relax, it’s not all that serious
“One thing I’d change in cycling would be to say to people to just relax more. I think people take it all too seriously. I’ve been cycling for 10 years and in the beginning, everyone went straight into road cycling so intensely. It’s like everyone was training for the Tour de France. I see that now with gravel cycling and I wish I could say they need to stop and smell the flowers. The same goes for ultras, which are becoming so popular, particularly at the start line. 70% of the participants are like ‘my life depends on finishing it within a set amount of time.’ People need to be a bit more relaxed about it all. ”
